Pawns of War
by Inanis Incedeco
Summary: Leliana and the Herald share old memories.


_A/N: Companion piece of Judge, Jury and Executioner, so some people might not get all of the references here. Essentially it can be explained in that Leliana, married with the Female Amell Warden named Mara, adopted a little girl, and Cantis is the Inquisitor who remembered blowing up the Conclave, and joined out of guilt and wishing to make amends._

* * *

"Nice girl you've got there."

Leliana practically jumped from her skin when she heard the words, whipping around to face him. Of course. The prisoner, the one who had destroyed the Conclave. It was easy enough to forget he was there sometimes, he sat so quietly, chained inside of the Chantry.

"Been watching her?" She growled harshly, unsure of what to do, other than knowing the information that a strange criminal was watching her daughter.

Cantis shrugged. "Hard not to. All I can do since you people locked me up is observe, and your little girl plays in the Chantry when it snows outside, she brings me sweet occasionally." He smiled and shook his head a little. "Don't worry, it's not what you're thinking, having a killer watching your child. I have… had, a little girl a lot like her."

"Had?" She raised an eyebrow, and he sighed. Never thinking she would feel sympathy for the killer of Justinia, she bit her lip.

"World's a harsh place." He shook his head. "She has terrors most nights, screams in her sleep. I'm sure you can hear it?" She nodded. "Give her a little Poppy Milk, just a little. That always calmed mine down, might be enough to soothe her."

Leliana carefully observed him, then nodded slowly. That didn't seem to be much of a trick on his part, but she still had to tiptoe carefully here, considering who he was.

"Can I ask who her father is?" He tilted his head to the side a little. "If that's alright. If not, I can always go back to sitting here quietly."

She considered a moment before relenting. After all, knowing your enemy was an important, something both the Bard and the Nightingale within her knew. "I don't know." She shook her head. "We found her begging on the street, and brought her in."

"Oh?" He smiled. "Same here. Poor Abigail was wearing threadbare clothes in some ass-end Orphanage where we found her." He paused a moment, letting the smile fade. "I assume by we, you mean that Warden of yours, Hero of Ferelden?"

Taken aback, she was immediately on guard once more. "How do you know of us?"

"I'm not blind like she is." He chuckled, then stopped and fixed her a confused glance. "You don't remember me, do you?"

"Why should I?"

"Of course you don't." He shook his head. "Of course. There were thousands of us." He looked back up. "I was at the Landsmeet. A foreign representative, there were a few of us. The ones from Ostwick. I shouldn't have expected you to remember me, but I fought beside you and yours at the battle of Denerim."

She bit her lip again, and shook her head. "I don't remember you."

"Don't think about it too much." He sighed. "Remembering war does worse than experiencing it. Besides, thousands of men fought and died there, I don't expect you to remember just one of us."

"And how do I know that's not a lie to get me to trust you more?"

It was a blunt question, but a fair one, and he shrugged at it. "I suppose you don't. You can dismiss it as such if you want, but I do remember you. You and your allies held the gate while the Wardens fought the Archdemon. I remember seeing you at the Landsmeet too, and you and her were very obviously in love. Maybe not to the idiots would would balk at the idea of two women, but I saw it."

"And you balked too?"

"Of course not." He laughed. "You and I are too eerily alike, Lady Amell. I'm married to another man myself. Liam, Liam Trevelyan. He and I raised little Abigail together for a long time."

"And where is he now?"

Cantis' face darked, and for a split second an animalistic fear hit Leliana, as if the Lyrium in his veins would let him rip through his restraints and attack her for asking. Then is passed and he looked down, saddened.

"He's with them." He lamented, shaking his head. "My poor Liam's laying on a lonely old eiderdown, while I'm sitting here making friends with rats. I ran here, to you lot, because I knew what we were doing was wrong, but Liam… he's a damn loyal man, and I… I..." He looked down and shook his head sadly.

Hesitating a moment, still unsure of if these were Crocadilic Tears, she slowly nodded, her own heart aching at the thought, and of her Warden. "Mara's gone too." She sympathized. "Out, beyond where I know, where I can trek her. Leading the Wardens."

"I saw Wardens at the Temple..." He began, but Leliana cut him off."

"Don't." She hissed venom. "Don't even think she's with _them_."

"I was lamenting that her fellow Wardens might be against her." He explained. "I don't think she would ever side with the Red ones like I did. No, no, I remember her. Seeing her armour gleaming in the sun as she battled her way through waves of Darkspawn… I didn't know her much, but I knew enough to tell that she was a better person than I ever was."

"Better than all of us." Leliana agreed softly. "I think about that battle all the time. I remember seeing her charge off while we held the gate, seeing her in full plate, her sword aflame, spells flying form her hands and her blade cutting a swath through the Darkspawn, through the fissures in the fields. I remember… I remember thinking to myself _'There's a woman I can follow. One who won't turn on us.'_ " She chuckled a little. "Oh, if only she had any interests in politics, she could be the queen of the whole damned world."

"There's a queen I would follow." He smiled. "I remember hearing she was a good leader down at Amaranthine too."

Leliana shook her head a little. "I wasn't there, and she had to make a lot of difficult decisions, but I believe that, hearing her explain it, she did the right things, however difficult they were."

There was a silent pause of remembrance between them before Cantis spoke.

"You don't trust me, Lady Amell, do you?"

"And why should I?"

"You shouldn't." He shook his head. "Not like this. I don't fucking trust myself right now. I blew up the Conclave, I admit it. I murdered Justinia, butchered innocents. I will never forget that. I will never forgive myself for that. You're right to lock me up, however useful this _Anchor_ might be. If I were you, I'd melt down the damn key for these cuffs."

"Then why do you ask?"

Cantis sighed, looking down. "Do you think we can change, Lady Amell?" The question took her by surprise, and she took a moment to think, and as she did he continued. "I'm a bad man, Lady Amell. I've done bad things. Killed men for all sorts of reasons. Kings, queens, gold, family, freedom, you name it. But… I-I'm a bad man who tried to be a good father. Does… does every man have a right to change? A chance at forgiveness? I-isn't that what the Chant says? C-can any of us ever find redemption for the things that we do?"

"You're asking the wrong person."

Cantis closed his eyes and nodded. "I wonder if I'll ever know the answer." He shook his head. "Regardless, I should let you sleep. Good night, Lady Amell."

Grace never slept sounder than that night when Leliana heeded his words.


End file.
